:(

today, i cried.


out of nothing.


maybe i was feeling so lonely.how i realized that i am tired of being alone.i can hear loud banging, yelling, laughing and cheeky giggles from the outside.yet i feel alone.completely lonely.i dunno when will this come to an end.i need a companion. i couldn't talk to Fadli on phone.i become so sensitive and it's so easy for me to breakdown.i dun wanna whine to him anymore. i am afraid he will grow tired of my silly whines.but i need someone to talk to.

it's so stressful living days like today.waking up for no purpose.staring blankly at the idiot box.counting sheep before sleep..oh dat's just as silly as i could ever done.i want an end to this.

i wanna go off.but i have nowhere to go.pepul might say that i can spend my time reading, doing laundries, chit chatting with little students or at least, sleep.yearight.i've been doing dat for almost a year.and i am scared of the fact that i am going to live like dis 3,4,5 years more.i'd rather die.

it's not dat i want to get married or doing sumthing similar to dat. neither me is ready for such great commitment.all i need is sumbody who understands me, who can spend time doing things we love together.tough luck though, i am fated to be alone.

i know, all i have to do right now is be patient.he will come and save me in any time.dat's all i have to believe, and trust.

nobody would understand me.and if it's ever so, nothing could ever be done.just hoping that time will fix everything.



so there i was,

crystal drops rolling down my cheeks,

as i hide myself under the blanket.

on a sunny sunday afternoon.