spm candidates

this is what i have in mind this morning, when i had to miss the- they call it "Restu Ilmu" ceremony for the SPM candidates.

i have been with you students for long enough.your screams and laughters are the daily alarms that wake me up in the morning. walking together with you to school is not of my choice.afternoon spent entertaining your postos and medical appointments are definitely not what i dreamt of.never am i fancy the idea of spending evenings seeing you running in the field, or giggling over group gossips at the benches. let alone dozing myself to slumber every night with reflections of each and everyone of you in mind. I didn't choose to be in this situation.yet, i just couldn't choose.

hates, angers, denials, annoyances, aggravations, frustrations
you name it.
all mountain up inside me, ready to burst.

for you just did not realize..

i hate you because..
you didn't follow the rules and i hate it to see you being so ignorant and easily fooled by the impostors.i hate it more if someday i have to see you living a bad life.let alone not being able to survive.i hate you because you didn't understand the tale of life that i yearned to tell.maybe it's my strict actions, or maybe it's just your gullible innocence.i dunno, but, the world is cruel, didn't you notice that?or maybe you're just too young to understand what LIFE has to offer..


life is not only of rainbows and butterflies..
or lollipops and sugar on top of pies..


angers, denials, annoyances, aggravations, frustrations
all mountain up inside me, but bursted only into small drops of crystal beads.

as i realized, the book of life is in a teacher's hand and the classroom is much bigger than the world when a student is ready to learn. shall i not squander it.shall i not shatter it..

The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called "truth."
~Dan Rather~