=..=

i used to know exactly what i want for a wedding.not a grand or dramatically special one.but just a simple, serene day, with no hush and rush.a day when i can treat everybody a simple yet delicious meal, enough to fill an empty stomach. a day when i can welcome everybody to my parents' crib, showing them the place i loved the most, my growing up place, my comfort zone. a day when nobody will celebrate not critics.a day of a fresh beginning between me and my future life companion. it's not too much to expect of a day, right?

what has been bugging me lately is i am too paranoid of what people will have to say when things are not up to their expectations. sigh

don't get me wrong people, i love shopping for weddings, what more if it's my freaking own wedding.i want beautiful dais, ruffles, scallops, with ballons and candies everywhere. i want everything in pastels, i want rainbow coloured paper lanterns, i want costumized favor bags with my handwriting on it, i want crazy pricey hantarans, i want a dais an artist would die for,i want every beautiful thing on earth.i want everything!

but, there is always a but.

i have to be rational.i have to keep my feet on earth. spending so much is not my kind of thing when it comes to a day of celebration. what more important is the days ahead. how we're gonna sail through the rough journey, of how being weekend husband and wife would cost us a fortune, of how having two families at once is kinda threatening, with hari raya coming and all.haha.okay, detect paranoid there.

hmm..what i really wish for now, is, let us have it our own way.be it a fairytale, or a nightmare, bother not.i've had enough stress at workplace so i dun need one on my wedding day.

 bridezilla mode on, NOW!

haha!okay ignore me.stress much wanrajifah, huh?

gotta go.need to google 'cara-cara memasak gulai' =..=